England.

I'm sick at home, so why not upload this thing.


I've been through somekind of blogging rehab, plus I am just very busy with other things.



Anyway, I've been to South England with my father. And we visited a crapload of things only tourists are interested in.


Seriously everything around there is from before 1300, amazing.



Originally, dad and I called it a "castle trip" but come to think of it.
We've seen only one castle, lol. Which WAS the ultimate medieval castle.
Those things are smaller than what they look like in the movies *blond remark*



We've been to Oxford to see the colleges and gawk at students like we dont have those in the Netherlands. It's different, these are English students, and they all wear the same.
Awesome.



The only thing Napoleon related was the watch tower at the coast. Build there when his invading plans were getting serious. He had 130.000 soldiers in Boulogne, waiting for the command to invade England. He never gave that command.



I also saw a very big Silver statue of the duke of Wellington, riding a horse.
he looked as arrogant as ever, but I cannot scold him in his own country.


I respected him for once. Treasure the moment, vain twit.



We've seen Stonehenge and that is EXACTLY what they tell you that it is.
Stones...
Very old stones..
In a field..
yea..
It's awesome.



Most of the times, I was struggling to get my camera to work. Give me a break, I am blond and a girl. And my camera hates me.


British police officers are very polite by the way. The Dutch ones are horrible. They yell at you like you killed the Queen, while all you did was parking somewhere they didn't want you to park.


So anyway, here is a photo of me in Christ Church College in Oxford. I hate photos of myself. It ruins the camera, lol

Napoleon Lives on... in Japan.

Yesterday, I was watching television and rolled into some travelling documentary about Japan.
It was semi-interesting and it made me decide yet again that I never want to go to Japan..China..or anywhere near Asian countries.

The man visiting several musea was over excited with almost everything he came across and he aggrevated me to the max. Anyway, there was one thing that startled me.

Onto visiting some kind of exhibit of robotic movements and artificial life and intelligence, the man was introduced to a life sized model of Napoleon...breathing.
He was laying on a couch, papers scrawled across his stomach, and his chest was slowly rising and falling. There was mud on his boots, and his hair was tangled.
He looked like he had just returned from a campaign, and had fallen asleep while working.

I think my jaw dropped.

The breathing could be heard, it was heavy and slow. When the man was asked to touch Napoleon, the skin reacted like it was real.
The Japanese man who made it told him it was a piece of art and science he was very proud of. And he hoped musea would be interested in buying it.
If not Napoleon, then perhaps the idea.

It sure made history come alive he said, and laughed.

The man looked a little unsure about it all, but laughed all the same.
He was from Europe, the man.
And perhaps he knew Napoleon as a little more than a piece of science.

Thinking about suicide.

Got you there, didn't I? Don't worry, I'm not thinking about MY suicide, but Napoleon's.

If Napoleon wanted to thank Caulaincourt for his loyalty, advice and services before he went to Elba, he messed it up epically.

A few days before being shipped off to Italy's most retarded island, Napoleon tried to kill himself by taking poison he had been carrying with him for years. In a little bottle on a chain, hanging around his neck.
He had just said goodnight to Caulaincourt.

Valet Constant heard strange noises and decided to go check on his master. Constant found him in a frightful state, laying on his bed, trying to muffle his screams in his pillows.
Dr.Yvan was summoned and tried to persuade Napoleon into drinking some tea, in the hope it would make him vomit.

Napoleon refused at first, he wanted to die, and yelled at the doctor to leave him alone.
But with endless effort, the doctor as well as Constant managed to make him drink a few cups of tea. And Napoleon vomited into a vase Constant held underneath his mouth.

The valet didn't know what to do with the vase after that, so he put it outside in the garden.

As Napoleon was slowly calming down, still convinced he was dying, Caulaincourt was dragged out of his bed with the news that the emperor was in critical state. Caulaincourt hurried to his master's bedside and asked "Ah, sire! What have you done!"

Napoleon told Caulaincourt he admitted his wife and son to him and that he was leaving this world soon.
Caulaincourt was shocked, but remained calm as always.

To the doctor, Napoleon asked if the dose had been strong enough. Yvan had no idea what the emperor was talking about. But Constant later told him he had seen a small empty bottle in a corner of the room. It then became clear that Napoleon had tried to kill himself.

The poison was a few years old, given to him by Dr.Corvisart before leaving for the Russian campaign. And it was no longer capable of killing anyone. Napoleon saw it as a sign. He was now convinced it was meant to be that he would suffer through it all.
Hopeless romantic he was, hm?

He fell asleep when the pain eased down, and the next morning he was alright. As if nothing happened.

He would later say that suicide is something meant for cowards.

Be it so, he gave poor Caulaincourt quite a scare.

Sometimes Holland Is Cool

The 20th till 21th of February this year, Napoleonic soldiers will camp at our local historical entertainment parc The Archeon, which I thought didn't exist anymore since 2000 or something.

It's the weekend before I go to England with my father. We're going to visit castles and have a nice father-daughter bonding moment.
I'm really excited about it, I've been looking out to it since it was certain we were going.

But I might be able to talk my mum into taking me to the Napoleonic thing.
It's not a battle re-enactment, just the soldiers sitting there acting Napoleonic.
Awesome..

I went to the Archeon when I was a little girl. Dad used to take me there with my sis.
It's like one of those re-enactment parcs, starts with the cavemen, and ends with the Golden Age.
So I wonder when they decided to evolve and throw Napoleon in it.
Cause I actually thought the entire parc went bankrupt centuries ago.

Well no matter, I saw the announcement in some magazine this morning and I was like yaaaaay, spilling my coffee everywhere.
The entire Dutch Napoleon society is there with some foreign guests.
I have to go there!!

Flirt with marshals and put toddlers in canons!
The French took over! It's raining offspring!

Oi, even their site still exists and now I see they have been demonstrating Napoleonic stuff since years. Am I blond or what?
I dont even realize they're demonstrating a Napoleonic thing when it's happening right in front of me.

They can send the cavalry on me and I'd still be like...oi, I never thought there was a ranch around here! Horsies! :) *gets slaughtered*
Murat hates me..

Probably because I think he looks incredibly gay.

Anyway, mum will be home soon, time to use the puppy eye act.

The brave moustache man

In War And Peace, written by Tolstoj, there is this one scene I find particulary funny.

Although the books aren't meant to be funny.

Napoleon had just crossed the Neman and he and his staff arrive at yet another river, the Wilija. There, he meets a Polish regiment, part of his army.

He sets himself beside the river and looks around with his spyglass, wrapped up in thoughts.

A cavalry officer with a moustache has just arrived as well with his troops, and asks permission from the emperor to galop his troops through the river in his honor.

Not even looking up from a few papers, Napoleon replies "Sure, go ahead.."

The cavalry man with the moustache returns to his troops and yells "Vivant!"

His men throw themselfs into the ice cold water on top of their horses and swim their way to the other side. The river was wild and cold and it ended up in a total drowning chaos.

40 men found their deaths.

Napoleon was totally unaware of the dramatic scene that was happening in front of him, he was thinking about how many bridges the river would need and how much time they would need for building those things.

One of his marshalls comes up to him, nudges him gently and tells him about the heroic mass hysteria that was taking place. But Napoleon's mind is somewhere else and he starts about brigdes to the Marshall, who has no choice but to go along in the conversation.

Meanwhile, the cavalry man with the moustache reached the other side of the river, turns around and yells "vive l'empereur!"

But the spot where Napoleon was standing, is empty. The emperor has left.

A few months later, Napoleon suddenly remembered the moustache man in a completely random moment. And asked for him. Moustache man had survived the Russian Campaign and was given a medal for his bravery that day.

Napoleon had a fantastic memory, but it was completely random sometimes.

He could seriously remember the name of the person who had handed him an ashtray 20 years ago. I forgot his name, and it's not even a year ago that I red about that.

I would have forgotten about the place, the time, the name and the ashtray.

Birthday present

So tommorrow.. January the 27th, I celebrate my 20th birthday.
And I am not alone, cause Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart celebrates his birthday as well.

Last weekend, I was at my father's house.
And my dad had been stressing over a present for me for weeks.
On the phone, he asked me what I would like..

I'm horrible with such questions, so I replied..

"I don't know... get me something about Napoleon"

By lack of a better idea.

The result was four beautiful books about the man, so I was in heaven.
Seriously, cloud nine.
He told me he went to a very big second hand book store, and kind of entered Hell cause they had about 5 giant bookshelfs about Napoleon.
I can already see him stare at them like "I should have bought her a rabbit skull"

Atleast my father persists on buying something that interests me, wether it's practical or not.
He bought me a Jack Russel terrier Skeleton last year.
I love it and use it as my own personal jewel storage and named it Sparky.
Sparky does look a little bizarre with all the earrings hanging from his ribs and bracelets around his skinny neck, but atleast I don't have to pay for his vaccinations.

Anyway, about the books;

The first one is an edited version of Napoleon's own autobiography, his memoires dictated to Las Cases and Montholon.
Edited by Somerset de Chair and titled Napoleon on Napoleon.
And it contains pictures, I'm blond so I need pictures otherwise I don't understand what the hell they're saying.
Just kidding.

The second one is titled The Napoleonic Wars, written by Gunther Rothenberg.
I think the subject is kind of obvious, it's about his marriages.

Kidding....

It's a very detailed book about all the battles and campaigns.
Complete with original uniform designs for the Grande Armee.

The third one is titled England's Prisoner, written by Frank Giles.
It's about Napoleon's time on St.helena.
A little dry, but with enough information.

And the fourth is called Waterloo and the Hundred Days.
Written by David Chandler.
A great book with all the strategies and opinions of Napoleon, Blucher and Wellington.
It contains amazing pictures I've never seen before, and I love it.

My dad is the greatest, really.
He's very patient when it comes to me rambling about useless Napoleon trivia as well.

My mother just throws a fit and runs off joining the British Army..
She practically hates Napoleon by now....

Like it's his fault I'm obsessed with him.

Anyway, when my scanner decided to stop boycotting me, I will scan some of the special images so you guys can see them. Like..Napoleon the Fugitive, great portrait of him right after Waterloo. Looking all worn out and defeated.

A vet's motto

Somehow, this just made me laugh so hard I got stomach aches...
Relax, it's from a joke of the Simpsons series...

It is not related to Napoleon in any way....But just....wow....
I still burst out laughing when I look at the pic...